I have been crying over a guy who has made it clear over and over again that he will only see me as a friend. I met up with another friend, who asked me why I was letting my emotions get the best of me. My second friend, whom I will call J, very bluntly told me that I shouldn’t be chasing a guy that doesn’t want a relationship with me, and that I really should focus on myself. J then asked me, if I’m not happy in all areas of my life, then why would anyone want to come to me for help?
I was taken aback by his by his question. I answered back, saying that I’m a career coach, not a love coach, and I’m already doing great things in my career. He then pointed out that my emotions have affected me in my career. Looking back at my career, I saw that he was right. I was doing well in my career when all other parts of my life were going well. When I wasn’t happy with one part of my life (in most cases, it happened to be my love life), even though it seemed like I was doing well in my career, I didn’t feel happy in it; I felt either restless or stuck, or stressed.
When I first talked to my coach, we didn’t even talk about my career. We talked about my love life, or more specifically, lack of a boyfriend. We spent the entire hour finding ways to improve my chances of getting a husband. I felt better after a while, and I was doing almost everything in the game plan laid out for me, and that is when I had become excited about becoming a career coach myself. Now, I am still boyfriendless, but to be of better service to other people, I really do need to focus on myself.
With that said, I really am trying to be happy in all parts of my life. Tomorrow, J and I are going to the gym to sign up for the membership, and I’ll be calling J to go to the gym with me. By day, I am a floater pharmacist for a specialized company, so I know it will be hard for me to go to the gym at the same time every day. Also, I love meeting up with people in the evenings, so I either have to work out in the early morning or late at night. These sound like excuses, and they absolutely are. I hope I can overcome my excuses otherwise I’ll get a good butt kicking from J.
What about the first friend, the one I have feelings for? The truth is, I don’t know what to do about him just yet. One complication is that I am totally in love with his dog (dogs are like children, right?), and I REALLY don’t want to leave her. He is a good friend. Some friends have told me to just cut off ties and move on, but some friends have told me to save the friendship, as he does make me happy, and he’s really a good guy. Both choices have pros and cons, so I have to follow my heart, and see which is the better choice. Until then, I will follow J’s advice and work on myself.